Most men have been masturbating the same way since they were teenagers. Same stroke, same speed, same routine. And while there’s nothing wrong with knowing what works, you might be leaving a significant amount of pleasure on the table, and not even realising it.
As an accredited sex educator who works specifically with men on pleasure and body awareness, I want to share three masturbation tips that go well beyond the basics. These aren’t tricks or hacks. They’re simple shifts that can genuinely change how you experience your own body.
Why most men are stuck on autopilot
There’s a reason most men default to the same stroke every time. It’s efficient. It works. And over years of repetition, your body has learned exactly what to expect.
But efficiency and pleasure aren’t the same thing. When you do the same thing every time, you gradually train your nervous system to respond only to that specific stimulus. You narrow the range of sensation available to you. And over time, you can find yourself needing more intensity to feel the same amount.
The good news is that your body is far more responsive than you think. It just needs a little more of your attention.
TIP 1: SWITCH UP YOUR STROKES AND SPEEDS
Your penis has multiple highly sensitive areas that most men completely overlook. The frenulum, that small ridge on the underside of the head, is packed with nerve endings and responds beautifully to light, slow touch. The corona, the ridge around the head, is similarly sensitive. And yet most men spend the majority of their time focused on the shaft using the same firm grip they’ve always used.
Think of it as a pleasure experiment.
Try the following:
Slow right down. Use a lighter grip than feels natural and move at half your usual speed. Notice what changes.
Focus on the head. Spend time specifically on the frenulum and corona with gentle, deliberate strokes.
Mix your rhythm. Alternate between slow, teasing strokes and faster, more focused movement. Variation keeps your nervous system engaged rather than habituated.
Use both hands. Try an upward stroke with one hand flowing into a downward stroke with the other, a continuous motion that changes the sensation entirely.
I’ve put together a free video guide that walks you through three specific stroke techniques you’ve probably never tried. You can find it at lisawelsh.com. Most men are surprised by what they notice the first time they try them.
TIP 2: UPGRADE YOUR TOOLS
This tip has two parts: lube and toys. Both are significantly underused by men, and both can transform the experience.
Lube first. If you’re not using it, you’re missing one of the simplest upgrades available. A good quality lubricant makes everything smoother, more comfortable and significantly more pleasurable.
A word on lotion: it’s not the same thing. Lotions are designed to moisturise, contain fragrances that aren’t intended for genital skin, and dry out far too quickly. Go water-based for versatility and easy clean-up, or silicone-based for a longer-lasting glide.
Now, toys. The range of sex toys designed for men has expanded enormously, and they can genuinely change the quality of sensation available to you. Think of it this way: if you were a chef, you wouldn’t limit yourself to one pan.
Some awesome options:
Stroker sleeves. Textured internal sleeves that create a completely different experience from manual stimulation. The Lovense Solace Pro is an automatic option that removes the manual element entirely, useful if you want to stay present rather than managing technique.
Cock rings. Worn at the base, they increase sensitivity and firmness. A vibrating ring adds stimulation without much complexity.
Prostate massagers. For men who haven’t explored this yet, prostate stimulation unlocks a completely different type of orgasm. The Lovense Edge 2 is app-controlled and designed for hands-free use.
TIP 3: ENGAGE MORE OF YOUR BODY
This is the tip most men don’t expect, and the one that tends to create the biggest shift.
Most men masturbate with their attention entirely focused on their penis. Which makes sense. But your entire body is covered in skin that responds to touch — and some of it responds specifically to slow, light contact. If you’re always using firm and fast stimulation, you’re bypassing entire layers of sensation.
Areas to explore:
Inner thighs. Highly sensitive and often completely ignored. Light touch here can create a surprisingly powerful response.
Testicles. One of the most overlooked erogenous zones on the male body. Gentle attention here changes the whole quality of arousal.
Perineum. The area between the base of the scrotum and the anus. Applying light pressure here, especially approaching orgasm, significantly intensifies sensation for most men.
Nipples. Not for everyone, but worth trying. Some men find nipple stimulation adds a surprising amount to the overall experience.
Use your breath. Slowing your breath down and breathing intentionally during masturbation turns up the volume on every sensation. Think about the difference between gulping a coffee and actually sitting with that first sip. Your body responds the same way to attention. Inhale slowly through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Let your breath set the pace rather than your urgency.
Change your position. If you always masturbate lying down, try standing. If you always sit, try crouching slightly or bracing against a wall. Different positions engage different muscle groups and shift blood flow in ways that noticeably affect sensation.
Bonus Tip: Make it a ritual
This one might feel unnecessary. Stay with me.
How you approach the experience shapes the experience. If masturbation is something you do quickly, guiltily and without much thought, your nervous system reflects that. You stay slightly alert. You rush. You don’t fully arrive.
Giving yourself actual time, locking the door, putting on music that helps you settle, taking a moment before you begin, signals to your body that this is something worth paying attention to. And your body responds accordingly.
You deserve to take your own pleasure seriously.
So, switch up your strokes, upgrade your tools, engage your whole body, and make it a ritual.
Not only will it feel better. It will build your connection with your own body. And that changes everything.
Which of these are you going to try first?
Lisa x
A quick note: some of the toy links in this post are affiliate links. If you buy through them, I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only ever recommend things I’d genuinely put in front of the men I work with.
